Abusive relationship (and the power of saying “NO”)

I was reading this ‘abusive relationship’ story.


Before jumping into that…


If you don’t like reading relationship stories…
this email is not for you.


Now back to the story…


My wife and I have been together for 4 years.


She didn’t call me DUMB for the first time until 7 months into our relationship.


We talked about things and were able to get through it. Things didn’t get really bad, like on a daily basis bad until a good ways into our marriage.


We got married in 2021.
And she started calling me RETARDED, AUTISTIC, IDIOT on a regular basis.


It started getting really bad in mid 2022. And this turned into a daily thing multiple times per day.


And let me just say I have never one time called my wife dumb or stupid or anything of that nature. This is not right and I stand by that.


I will not lie to you.


I am definitely not smart and others may think the same things she tells me. But at the same time, I don’t feel like I am as stupid or dumb as she thinks I am.


Before she ever came into the picture… I was living completely independent. I had my own place, paid cash for my 2 vehicles and had a successful job leading into my career today.


To me, even if I am on the slower side, it doesn’t seem to affect my day to day life, at least not majorly lol.


When I’ve had conversations with her and asked her to stop…
she would stop for a little bit.
But even when she did stop, you could just tell she thinks it. And deep down believes that I am and that reflects in our relationship.


And it would progress back into her actually saying it again. It’s gotten to a point where I ask her… if she thinks I’m so retarded then why does she want to be with me?


She says because I’m perfect in every other way.


Idk though, it just really gets to me. As things progressed for the worse in these regards, she started pushing for me to get tested for autism. I could be wrong but what good is that even going to do??


What is me getting tested going to do for my wife? I stand by that which is why I refuse to get tested.


Because I feel as if it should be a personal decision. And I can’t help but think that me getting tested would be leveraging myself into more name calling and putting down.


I love my wife to pieces and it pains me to even write about this. But this can’t go on.


I grew up religious and never thought splitting would be an option but I just don’t know anymore if things continue like this… and thank goodness we don’t have kids yet.”


I have many thoughts and opinions on this story.


Classic abuse…
Making your partner feel bad about themselves…
Making someone question their own selves…
Name calling…
Lost respect…
Religious beliefs…
Love and limitations…
How it’s hard to get out of abusive relationships


Those are vast topics. I won’t go on all those tangents.


But there’s 1 thing that plays a crucial role in our relationships and in our business…


Saying NO. And STANDING by it.


This person tried saying “NO” multiple times.
But his wife kept ignoring it.


So the question you NEED to answer is…


“What are you gonna DO about it?”


Will you bring in some kind of intervention?
Will you guys go to a relationship coach?
Will you stop everything until this issue is resolved?
Are you willing to walk away if things don’t change?


You gotta answer that question and be willing to take the next step.


Otherwise they will keep walking all over you.


We sometimes have our own fears about saying NO.


But in my personal experience…


Saying NO. And actually standing by it is ATTRACTIVE in its own.


And people RESPECT you more not less when you actually MEAN it.


Now ask yourself…


Do you need to take a STAND somewhere in your life or business?


“No. I don’t want this kind of life anymore”
No. I don’t want this kind of relationship anymore”
“No. I don’t want this kind of business anymore”
“No. I don’t want these kinda clients anymore”


When is enough… enough for you?


NO is decisive when you actually MEAN it.
When you’re willing to DO something about it.


P.S. Now if you’re done staying at your current level in business… go here.


Signing off…

Unlock Meaningful Momentum (MM) Emails

Join 2700+ coaches receiving daily insights on scaling their biz, impacting 1000s of clients and becoming cash rich while having the time of their lives.

Follow us around the web: LinkedIn . Facebook . Instagram




© Copyright Chevaun 2024. All Rights Reserved. T&C. Privacy. Refunds.




© Copyright Chevaun 2024. All Rights Reserved. T&C. Privacy. Refunds.
Follow us around the web: LinkedIn . Facebook . Instagram